it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize