I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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