I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
