I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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