You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
