i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
