no you cant smoke seaweed
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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