apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
