They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
