Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize