Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
