Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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