My liver just broke up with me...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
