therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
