I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
