How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
