actually, I'm a sock model
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
