I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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