just come out here and I will go home with you...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
