New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize