i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize