Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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