Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
