I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize