then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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