Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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