Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
