Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
As shirtless as possible
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
