GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
