he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
