Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
