I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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