If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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