Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
