Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
