I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
