I don't think brook has ever known best
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize