How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
