4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize