ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
