he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
