I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
