I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
