Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
