About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
