Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
