I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
