I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I am spending my child support on dildos
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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