I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
