She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
