Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
