i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
