I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
