Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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