Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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