Your mouth is God's brothel.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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