how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It was confusing and full of hummus
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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