You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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