Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
